My speech for your funeral....

Actually I wanted to post about something funny and happy, but something bad happened. It doesn't work to write today anything other. I'm sorry for the sad Feeling talk on this blog.

I hope after I'll written about it I'll process it better.

In the morning today I ate my breakfast. Like every day my mother was coming in the Dining room and the first Thing she did was turn on Radio. I hate it especially because at this time it advts and than the News. It said: " Last night at 22.30 pm a 38 years old man had a tragic deadly car accident where he crashed into a tree....." I can't remember each word exactly. I thought nothing about it and was on the way to go, put the shoes on.

Than we received a phone call from my grandmother.

My mother listened to her and the first Thing she said was Fuck! My mind thought something is with my grandfather, because he has diseases that could be problematic. The second thought something is with any other Person I don't know. A few Moments later she asked her who was dead? Than I asked my mum who was dead, because I was in hurry to leave the house. Jürgen was the answer. For Explanation it's my uncle.

He is dead!

Nevertheless I went out the house to my bus and than to School, because I couldn't stay at home. With tears in my eyes I went to the bus Station and met a friend. Than I was in School, in this Situation it doesn't mattered me if anyone saw me like that. I'm not strong enough to be alone with my Family at home. School was ok, my seat neighbours I said: " Please entertain me today, it doesn't matter what shit you say, only talk. " That diverted me a Little bit. In lesson it was though to concentrate at the spelling of the teacher. Again and again the tears came to the daylight. The most though lesson was English, because we watched a film about Queen Elisabeth's father, I think it was George the 6th. The film had a lot of sad Music but nobody was dieing. After School as soon as I was alone my tears wouldn't stop. So there was me, a crying gril Walking through the Shopping mall.

The tears continue until now.

I don't know if I'm allowed to hold this speech at the funeral of my uncle but I know to write this words down will help me a Little bit.

Maybe a big part of you don't know me and never heard anything about the Connection with Jürgen and the sixteen year old Girl that is Standing in front of you, here at dais. Hello, I'm Lea and the niece of him. Confessedly I haven't saw Jürgen for a long time, it could be around summer or autumn last year. So it was some years. We hadn't much contact for years.

He was then when I was a Little child my favourite uncle. At this time he lived by my grandparents. Every time when I visited them the first thin I had to do was crying and searching "hugen". I called him hugen, because the pronounciation Jürgen was to difficult for me. When he didn't answered and everybody said he wasn't at home, I had to go upstairs to his room and convince myself from his Absence. Nobody was so importat at the visit like him. I'm sure sometimes the others were jealous, because when he was at home I monopolized him and only wanted to do something with him.

I can't say a lot, you haven't known yet.

However, one Statement no adult can judge. He was a fantastic uncle for me, presumably my siblings assess it because the contact wasn't big the last years.

However I think it's ok when I say in General he was a great Person.  

Rest in peace hugen